I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
