I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
