Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
