I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
