i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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