Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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