loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
