i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
