I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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