Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
