Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
