and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
