I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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