Do you still have your period?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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