1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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