Your face is a jimmy john
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
