Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
