ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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