he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
