Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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