We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just want nice things and good sex
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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