2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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