Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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