didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
