Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
