So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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