there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
