Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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