dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
