the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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