I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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