Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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