dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
