I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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