Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
