I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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