so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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