I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
