Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am one with the molecules
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
