Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
