just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He kissed a someone with a penis
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
