Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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