just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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