i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
