The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Im part way to drunk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
