im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
