Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
