Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
