what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
