We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
